“As for the human race, it is being taken care of better than it can take care of itself. All is well.”

Q: The ancient Vedantic scripts that attempt to explain human existence say there are two approaches, philosophical, and experiential. Which are you?

A: Through no effort on my part, or any qualification I’m aware of, I’ve been given many annual experiences of what I call Reality. I think that puts me in the experiential camp.

Consequently, to me, the word Reality means everything that exists, everything known and unknown, then, now and forever – the utter joy of being, the oneness with all, the dissolving gratitude, humility of being wholly accepted (love), and knowledge – the “veils” removed.

However, though I have experienced this Reality I can’t claim to understand it – rather like someone who can drive a car without having to understand how it works.

Q: So where does philosophy come in?

A. Philosophy is a means by which mankind attempts to use the mind to make known facts meaningful. (Some scientists are saying that without actual experience of Reality Reality cannot be known).

My Experience is that what is known as “enlightenment”, “transcendence”, is spontaneous, is caught not taught. The mind, that the philosophers are using to study Reality in the absence of actual experience of Reality, is an illusion that produces nothing lasting, and is impermanent. Mind shares longevity and death with humans. Mind, with its machinations and ego, is mischief, (but temporary).

Q: So, what is the future of humans? Can we know?

A: Some Sufi schools teach that by the time the Spirit of Reality has brought humans to full maturity, then only Reality, which can be said to be spirit and truth, will still exist. The human race will have dissolved into Reality.
Humans won’t exist. The process is inexorable.

Q: So where do you come in? Do your Experiences give you a mission? Are you a spiritual messenger, a teacher, a guru, or a master?

A: No, I’m none of these things. I do still wonder what I’m supposed to do with my Experiences. I’ve given it serious thought, meditation and experiential study, but have felt not a tremor of personal destiny that I recognise. I’ve wondered if I’m trying hard enough but am somewhat comforted by the spiritual tradition of some Experiencers like me who choose to stay and help the human race understand their destination as spiritual beings. Others, like me, choose to ignore this as a distraction. I am called to go on in the Experience of Reality.

Humans aren’t the be-all and end-all of Reality. There are more important things.

I’m also comforted by the only clear and direct message I got 55 years ago on one of my Experiences on a bridge over the River Thames one evening. The message was: All Is Well. It was clear, strong, persistent and unequivocal. It resonates with me still.

I took that message as a specific reassurance. At the time, the Experiences were ruining my human life. After that, and slowly through the years, I began to think my destiny was to accept the part of me that is human – my responsibilities as a husband and father, earning a living, at the same time as the more important inner work of being what humans call a “mystic” – someone who has Experienced Reality and is caught in an awareness of the process. I can and am to do both.

So to answer your question again, no, I don’t feel any urge to be any more involved with the human race than necessary to my inner work in Reality. I know Reality and am that first and foremost.

As for the human race, it is being taken care of better than it can take care of itself. All is well.




Q: Is this web page manipulative?

A: What makes you think that?

Q: Sometimes the page frustrates with explanations and ideas, answers that
are interesting but don’t address the point.

A: Most questioners really want agreement with their own conclusions.

Do they have the spiritual experience to see the whole picture?

Any answer to such wrong questions would be unhelpful if not downright misleading.

Also, many questions are not spiritual.

They’re based on human experience, needs, wants, attachments, morality and ethics, logic and reason, all veils between the human condition and spiritual Reality.

Many questions are from people who simply want to be better people, (according to the passing standards of the day).That’s not what Reality is about. That would be a spiritual digression …

The best way is to get people to experience the answer, at which point the question is irrelevant.

Q: Can you do that, get people to experience spiritual answers?

A: Not in my experience, no. But you can get them to the point where it might happen.

My own experiences were spontaneous. There used to be claims such experiences could be humanly induced. You don’t hear much about such claims nowadays.

Q: Then how do you answer questions?

A: I leave out a lot of what humans expect in an answer. I am provocative without explanation. The provocation of raised but unanswered questions can focus sincere Seekers’ thinking and contemplation.

I concentrate on the Reality aspect of the question too, not the human …

These unanswered enigmas make the questioner think a great deal more widely and deeply about spirituality and Reality.

This method can be fraught though. Many people just aren’t used to prolonged thinking, certainly not of the contemplative or meditational variety.

Others really prefer to accept what they’ve been told and learned from childhood.

So this method deliberately seeks to eliminate the merely curious, the social seekers, the spiritually negative, the uncalled, to sort the sheep from the goats.

Experience of Reality only comes to those who are ready for it, whether they seek it or not.

The real Seekers, what the Christian bible calls “the Blessed” who hunger and thirst after righteousness, are the ones who respond immediately, who are “caught, not taught”. They lighten my existence, humble and uplift me.

So, if raising what has been called “Cosmic Consciousness” by sharing the experience of Reality with deliberately provocative simplicity is manipulation, then yes – beware, this web page is manipulative.



Q: How to communicate about such things if what one experiences in MER is altogether beyond communicating?

A: MER’s source, purpose, penetration and utility is ineffable – deliberately defying all human access and meddling. It is spontaneous, comes for no apparent logic or reason known to man and cannot be induced, evangelised or proselytised, in my understanding.That’s been my conclusion for a long time. Very frustrating for the merely curious.

Q: In my experience of what you call MER, all thinking ceased in terms of thinking about anything of my own volition. There was, suddenly, and with little warning, complete and utter emptiness within which perception continued, but it was perception without cognitive hooks; that is, perception did not trigger thought or internal dialogue at any level. If I were to attempt a description, I would describe it as an internal/external silence that had nothing to do with absence of sound. A ‘thought’ could arise, I remember, but it was alone and by itself in relation to what was required in any given moment, otherwise there was nothing. It was not my thought; there was no personal aspect, no sense of self, no sense of identity. Thought was not even an option; it was no more than an occurrence. There was just a continuum of silence carrying its own curious signature. I think this is where Merrell-Wolff made the mistake about High Indifference; it’s got nothing to do with ‘indifference’, which is a value-laden term with strong ego connotations. It has to do with experience, any experience, in terms of pure cognition rather than reflective, reflexive cognition: one simply becomes the stream of experience beyond the needs of conscious identification. What I perceived had nothing to do with trees or street; it was everything at once, and that included insights into things utterly beyond my conscious mind’s capacity to grasp. There was no sense of ‘grasping’ anything mentally; just a seeing into the very nature of existence. There was, I realised later, the possibility of a wholly new type of consciousness developing on the planet within which the limited perspective of the human mind had altogether vanished. That, I suspect, is somewhat near to what you mean by MER being experientially ‘nonhuman’, although I may be quite wrong in thinking so.

A: I had no sense of consciousness, or of being humanly conscious, in my experiences of MER. This makes me wonder if I was even human when I had them. What I was getting from the MERs was certainly not anything that could in any way be associated with or understood by the humankind I knew then or since.

I like your, “There was, I realised later, the possibility of a wholly new type of consciousness developing on the planet within which the limited perspective of the human mind had altogether vanished”. This conforms with some Sufi traditions about humanity’s evolutionary future. A philosopher friend of mine told someone else I’m hundreds of years ahead. I presume he mean’t because of my MER experiences. I just hope humans know more in a few hundred years than I do now …

Q: I refuse to teach; it attracts the needy to their detriment. I’m quite willing to talk when such talk is permissible and appropriate, but not at any other time except in the most general of terms. And so my life continues as it has always done, in the moment as best I can.

A: I’ve come to the conclusion real spiritual teachers can only relate to genuine Seekers, those who are readied almost despite themselves, who have begun to shuck the veils of humaness, presumably under the influence of the source of MER? This is another conundrum – what makes a Seeker, why them? Are they the ones who “hunger and seek after righteousness and truth” (whether they like it or not if my own experience of being a Seeker is anything to go by).



Q: A single point: That which you seek, and that which seeks you are not necessarily the same thing. That which seeks you does not make, cannot make, decisions on your behalf.

Whatever you sense to be the case is, either consciously or unconsciously, your decision, not that of Ultimate Reality.

A: No. No human being is capable of “sensing” or “deciding” anything about the ultimate reality experienced by me or the experiencers who are subjects of the more than 6,000 cases being scientifically studied by the Hardy Foundation, or by the hundreds by Jefferey Martin from scientists around the world, or by the 300 or so studied and published by Sinetar. Our experiences were not our decision. We were not human in any sense when we had our experiences of ultimate reality, nor did we need to be or have to be. We were ultimate reality and ultimate reality was us.

There is nothing human that could imagine, grasp or conceive of ultimate reality without experiencing it, let alone conjure it up or even understand it if they could. UR exists completely independently of humans.

Q: We do not know Ultimate Reality in its own terms, as it actually is;

A: Yes we do!  This is exactly how experiencers know it.

Q: … to do so we would have to become the equivalent of Ultimate reality…

A: Exactly! And experiencers do become that while experiencing ultimate reality, before they slip back into the human experience … After that, the memory of the experience still develops, unveils within them.

Q: … and I’m sure that’s not how you perceive things to be.

A: But I do! Though a more correct word for “perceive” in this context would be, “know”.

Q: What we perceive as Ultimate Reality is always perceived, that is, it is, whether we like it or not, a ‘perceptual act’, and it has a context: you.

A: No. Ultimate Reality has no context yet known to man. It exists outside humaness or human experience.

Q: As for not staying around to help other human beings, that is a perfectly legitimate stance; but it is again a decision that you as a being who has experienced Ultimate Reality must have made at some point; it is not just something that happens of its own accord.

A: Yes it is, in my experience … No one on earth can invoke or evangelise it.

Q: Ultimate Reality’s push towards individual human beings (I’ve been working with this quite extraordinary set of affairs over the last months) has to do with complex forces and energies already working within a human being; it never comes out of nowhere for no reason.

A: Jesus is supposed to have said it did, not that that proves anything. but that point of view is echoed throughout the human history of “spirituality”.

Q: That would be a form of possession and it does not fit into any level of transcendent experience.

A: Possession is a human word, irrelevant in the experience of reality. The benign revelation of ultimate reality I know is much to be desired, at least in my case. I still mourn its passing.

Q: You can get knocked around quite a bit on occasions when the energies start to fly, but you are never overpowered without having, in some deep sense, invited the experience.

A: How can you invite something you never knew existed, or could ever have imagined or conceived? It’s not something that can be intellectually induced or conjured up. It’s not an hallucination. It’s completely uncalled for and mystifying. It neither asks for nor suggests or demands anything. It just reveals – in an exquisitely loving way with complete benignity and joy beyond human experience. It reveals that “All is Well”, though what that means I still cannot fully get my head around …

Neither do you ever experience anything so anomolous to direct experience of ultimate reality as “energies start to fly” nor are are you ever “knocked about” by the experience of Ultimate Reality. These human attributes are absolutely contrary to reality. They are not in any experiencer’s knowing or vocabulary; just the very antithesis in fact, not spiritual at all. They are not MER. Such violences sound as if they’re induced, ego driven, human mind stuff.

So far me saying , “That which I seek seeks me” is concerned, first of all I was a Seeker from birth I think, looking for meaning beyond the bewilderment of the temporary human condition. Then, I suppose, the Christian bible promise of “knock and it shall be opened” kicked in, if you believe in such things. I didn’t.

Whatever, since then nothing has been the same. The bewildering, sudden revelations beyond all human understanding, expectancy and expression came without bidding.

Now, I am content. Reality is enough.

The bad news is, humanity is incurable. The good news is, it’s terminal. 🙂

All is well.


KH:Nanaimo:May 2016






Q. Are you qualified to write about what you call The Mystical Experience of Reality?

A. I have no idea. I think about “Why me?” a lot.

The tradition is that there are no known human qualifications to have the experiences; not intelligence; education; culture; ethnicity, time in history; religious upbringing; age; morality and ethics; social; religious; or spiritual status.

The phenomena happened to me several times a year from the age of about 15 to 35. The major aspects of the experiences were being taken out of myself; a profound, all consuming and barely bearable joy; a total sense of being accepted, of having a permanent place in existence from the beginning to the end of existence (the alpha to the omega?); of being fully loved in a sense beyond human experience; having complete understanding, of everything as distinct from knowing; the ultimate assurance that All Is Well; a consuming personal humbleness and gratitude beyond my ability to describe in its validating fullness and renewal; an agony of loss as each of the all too brief experiences came to an end despite my best efforts to hold on to them as my true destiny.

I feel I am now much more than the mere experience of being human. I am growingly indifferent to my human condition.

So I can say, I am a mystic. My knowledge is from the Mystical Experience of Reality, (MER). All other context comes from human experience: books, TV, serious newspapers, magazines and scholarly papers, travel, talking, listening to people with intelligence and experience. I think, meditate, and listen to the (telepathic?) promptings which I presume all humans do, can do, or will do eventually.

I can also say I am not a master, not even a teacher. The real spiritual phenomena is far too subtle to teach, which would be very frustrating to any unfortunate pupils I would attract, and would test my pathetic patience to its unholy limits. Anyway, MER is caught, not taught.

I am also, however, a contemplative and a quietist which apparently is a ‘no-no’ in religious circles because quietists are called not to be engaged in distracting and largely inconsequential human affairs.

Whether all this makes me of a different species, (Dr. Marsha Sinetar) or whether it qualifies me for writing about MER I will leave to you to ponder.

Q. Why are you writing a blog on MER, what is the purpose?

A. This is two questions, and I don’t  have a sure answer for either.

Writers who are serious about the phenomena have brought the idea of “Messengers” to me, but if I am one of them the job description must still be on its way …

Others have urged me that getting the message out, communicating, is important.

But there is more in heaven earth than being merely human. Human destiny certainly hasn’t been left to humans.

The general public are sleepwalkers when it comes to real spiritual matters, not yet conscious – according to some masters who warn against disturbing that condition. Whatever, humans can’t evangelise MER.

Encouragingly however,  there are people out there who are “called” whether they recognise it or not. They will get there. There are no failures.

I only came out in public and to my friends with this Blog about eleven months ago, (April 2015).  It’s the only blog on the Internet given exclusively to MER by a mystic so far as I can tell.

I have never spoken about my experiences to anyone for 64 years so I dithered about doing it. Finally I felt prompted to give in, and lo and behold, it’s not too bad, not as rabble rousing as I feared it might be, quite ‘enlightening’ in fact!

I’m glad I’m doing it. It’s engaging me and others on levels I never foresaw, though nothing has changed dramatically in the rest of the world that I’m aware of yet. Over 1,000 people have visited the site already, 500 of them more than once. It has Followers. But I could have happily taken my secret to the grave.

I just hope the Blog is of relevance to Seekers, (those who are prompted to real spiritual experiences), or those who have already experienced MER and need reassurance, validation; as well as to those scholars and scientists now taking the phenomena seriously. If you’ve got this far in reading all this maybe you’re one or all of them?

KH: March 29 2016.