I’m sorry if I was cryptic. It was against all my instincts to say anything at all (check out the description of a “silent Buddha” in the Blog).
The cryptic formula I used (as explained in the Blog somewhere) is designed to guide the recipient to their own conclusions rather than have it all spelled out as mere hearsay. So I’m pleased you’re going to persist in untangling my words until you get to the hoped for personal epiphanic arrangement …
(This exercise is profoundly more bountiful than any crossword or version of sudoku, especially for you as the hungry and thirsting Seeker I believe you to be).
As a supposed pratyeka buddha I was diffident about interfering but did so because it seems to me you are on the very edge of Realisation, and indeed, very often experience Its fringes without recognising It. This conflict ruins your inner content.
The tradition is that we do not evoke our “voice”, this incessant passion for Reality, our vocation, with all our heart and soul and strength, Reality chooses us. It will never leave us, It is now us.
So, you ask, what do I do? This is a very typical egoistic human response – to which Reality’s reply is: Nothing.
If you are truly called, have total integrity and sincerity, are a real seeker, then everything will be done for you. Reality takes over. From my own experience I can agree with the taught tradition that you will change – friends, jobs, clothes, eating habits, reading, travel, lust, anger, greed, all personal, cultural and institutional attachments and lastly, and with difficulty, ego. (I see some of these are already working on you quite vehemently!).
I did not find my processing “in the mills of God which grind slowly but infinitely finely” as I’ve heard it called, easy, though looking back I can see how silently effortless, sometimes unnoticed and unremarked the changes were in my life. I am much blessed.
So in your case I would say “simplicity” and “action”, as well as its coconmitant “non action”, are now seeded in you …
What now? In the immediate meantime it helps to go into the silence and stay there as long as you can whenever you can and let the world go by. This facility develops with repetition. It’s a very calming place to be while Reality nurtures you into full fruition. All is well.
I hope this is more helpful in rescuing you from the world. I’m very diffident about interfering in something so personal and hope I’m right in trying.
My very best wishes,